HELP! My UPS man was very embarresed and offended by what I left for him!?

HELP! My UPS man is very embarresed and offended by a note I left for him on my ol homestead front porches you know? Ok, so I ordered something called a "weavel" for my hairs, you know? it adds some length and volumized strands of fake hairs to your real hairs. I have been thinking of switching up my dos, thats all, okay? An Ways, I was told I would have to sign for the hairs to receive the packaged, however, I will be at works most of the day and not home to received the packaging so I decided to leave Stanley (My UPS man) a note. I was worried that one of my neighbs might see the note and waits to steal my pack when it comes and im not there, so I wrote a note pretending I was receiving something that does not sound fun to steals you know? Ok, so I wrote, "Dear Stans, my UPS man, please leave my super extra large and bonus long sized Maxi Pads and lubricating oiled jellys on the front porch ok? Here is my sig ture okay? Thanks and Love, Janet" I saw Stan this morn and he was ignoring my hand waving signals at him and not looking me in the eyeball, I can tell he is very embarresed about my maxi pads. I was just trying to get his attench so I could explain that they really were not maxi pads, it was just my weavel. How do I make things right with Stanley?